


built a rocket to the sky (gonna say goodbye)

by nikneedsalife



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Reunion Fic, pre-season 4, take on pidge and matt's childhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 18:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12086520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikneedsalife/pseuds/nikneedsalife
Summary: For the prompt on tumblr: something about Pidge and Matt's childhood?When Pidge was five, everyone in her class was asked what or who they wanted to be when they grew up.Some said fireman or woman, some teachers, some an astronaut, and one driven young kid wanted to become the first female president of the United States.Pidge said she wanted to be her brother Matt.





	built a rocket to the sky (gonna say goodbye)

**Author's Note:**

> prompt from @sweetasfiction who responded to my prompts ask on Tumblr, thanks dude :)
> 
> my ever-loving thanks to @wolfofjotunheim for the beta but also for tolerating my online screaming, you rock!
> 
> pre-season 4

title from [The Script - MOON BOOTS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoFMJHeJYv8)

 

* * *

 

   

  When Pidge was five, everyone in her class was asked what or who they wanted to be when they grew up.

  Some said fireman or woman, some teachers, some an astronaut, and one driven young kid wanted to become the first female president of the United States.

  Pidge said she wanted to be her brother Matt.

  From the moment she had been brought into the world, Matt - five years older and headstrong enough to worry their parents about his reaction to his new sibling - had been by her side. He'd been caring and helpful, all too curious about the fragile little thing she was. Pidge was born early and she was tiny compared to most babies, so by the time she was old enough to eat adult food, Matt seemed to have already decided that his sister was to be protected at all costs.

  Much like her brother, from the moment Pidge could talk in sentences, she would _talk_. Matt stopped hovering around her like a mother hen, pulling her away from anything that could cause her harm (like a particularly steep slide in the playground). Instead, they sat for hours on the couch, Pidge unusually patient for such a young child, while Matt explained how volcanos worked, what the solar system was, what his new computer was capable of. He stopped being her protector, and instead became her mentor. Pidge looked up to him, even more than to her father who was too occupied with his work to give her the same attention.

  Matt enjoyed hearing her talk and explaining her how the world worked in the simplest terms he could towards a four year old.

  When Matt left for the Garrison, Pidge experienced loneliness for the first time. The kids in her class were nice, but they weren't Matt, and they didn't know as many thing as he did. They didn't even like the same things she did, preferring toy cars over technology, dolls over space, coloring a picture over plants.

  Holidays became the bane of Pidge's life, not because of the lack of school, but because Matt came back for most of them and then they would resume their usual tradition of sitting on the couch, Matt teaching her all he'd learned since he left.

  When she turned eleven, there was another shift in their dynamic. Matt, sixteen, had graduated the Garrison early and was rumored to being a candidate for the new space exploration program to Kerberos.    

  Pidge, however, despite her knowledge and love for learning, just didn't want the same thing. The Garrison was intensive and cutthroat, aiming to qualify their cadets towards the difficult life of space exploration. She wanted a normal youth, wanted to enjoy growing up, wanted to have more options in life the Garrison would never give her. Matt didn't really understand why his smart sister wasn't as career-driven as he was, but he also wanted whatever made Pidge the happiest. And if what made Pidge the happiest was attending a school, albeit it having a high level of education, that wasn't the Garrison, that was fine by him. Somewhere deep down, Matt had just always expected that Pidge would want to follow in his footsteps.

  Even though Pidge still looked up to Matt, he stopped being her mentor. Instead, this time, they became comrades-in-arms. Pidge had always been good at coding and technology, but she took up hacking. Not to mean any harm, but simply to challenge herself into managing something she couldn't have done before. It became increasingly easier, despite hacking into places that were more and more protected as she sought to raise the bar.

  Matt found out. Pidge had been careless, leaving her laptop open on her desk while she went to get some water. Matt had gone to get his pair of glasses that Pidge always seemed to steal off him when he got home, and caught sight of the screen. When Pidge came back, they had a very serious discussion that lasted several hours and for the first time Matt was biting back anger towards his little sister. What she had been doing was dangerous. If she got caught...

  Pidge yelled back that she never got caught.

  Eventually, they came to an agreement. Pidge would stop the hacking. Matt, in turn, would try to be home more often and help further her skills with whatever he learned about in the Garrison.

  He also had to permanently hand over his glasses to Pidge and get new ones, but it was worth the sacrifice.

  When Matt and her father went to Kerberos Pidge counted down the days until they would return home and Matt would tell her about everything he'd seen and discovered. Pidge may not have wanted to explore space like he did, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t something she was really, _really_ interested in. Just like technology, space was fascinating, unlimitless, mysterious.

 It had never occurred to her they wouldn't return.

  Her father and Matt were the smartest people she knew, the pioneers of their generation. That they were gone just because of some weird freak accident...

  Unthinkable.

  Pidge took up hacking again, pushing away the guilt she felt at breaking her promise with Matt. He would do the same for her, she was sure of that.

  Eventually, through many sleepless nights spent planning, Pidge got into the Garrison, physically entering their door because it was the only way to access their database. But just as Pidge had almost gotten the info she needed, she got caught. Again, her carelessness had gotten to her.

  Pidge tried again. This time, she'd barely even typed a few words before Iverson caught her.

  There was no way Pidge was getting anywhere near the Garrison again.

  Her mom never found out, still too torn in grief to function completely. Both times, Pidge told her she was going on a school trip. The Garrison never notified her either, because how would that look for them if they legally persecuted the daughter and sister of their tragically lost crew members because they refused to release any concrete information that didn't spout _freak accident_. It was already difficult enough dealing with the public fallout of their failure.

  And how was a sixteen year old girl to be taken seriously? Pidge has been caught both times. She would be caught again. She wasn't a threat.

  Underestimating her was their mistake. This time, Pidge was more careful than she had ever been.

  Pidge devised her most difficult project until now. One Katie became two; Katie Holt was attending a strict boarding school in England, despite her mom's wishes to keep her home. Pidge Gunderson, a shy genius, enrolled to the Garrison and got accepted into fighter pilot training.

  Pidge had cut her hair and cut Katie out of her life with it.

  Pidge had bound her chest and thereby bound her fate to Voltron.

  Pidge went to space, and the war went by.

  Matt was probably alive and with the Rebellion, she knew that much, but there was no sign of her father. And they were too busy fighting a war, too busy trying to stay alive, too busy to take any detours to find them.

  Then Shiro disappeared.  _Again_. He only told Keith, stealing away voluntarily in the dead of the night, but Keith refused to tell anyone else where or why he’d gone like that.

  But Pidge knew. She knew the bond between the crew members of the Kerberos mission. And now that Shiro had seen Voltron working in harmony without him, he could leave. Shiro had gone to look for the Rebellion, her dad, and Matt. He’d promised her that, shortly after they first merged into Voltron. Shiro had _promised_ that he’d go looking for them as soon he could.

  Weeks, months, years went by. It all seemed the same in space. Sometimes they got hurt, sometimes they almost died, but they always made it through. Pidge had scars littered over her body, from her fingers to her toes - cuts and burns and deep gashes. Aches that never really went away, old wounds that twinged when they visited a planet with bad weather. Matt’s glasses never broke, though.

  Voltron and their allies decided to make contact with the Rebellion. They had stayed separated for long enough, it was time to bring one of the final blows on Zarkon’s tyranny. The Rebellion agreed.

  When they entered the meeting room through the wide doors of the peaceful Fregna planet, Pidge’s fingers trembled. This was it. If they weren’t in this room, she would officially have lost them. Her eyes scanned the table. She recognized a dozen different aliens whose planets they had rescued over the years, and all the way at the end-

  A human, neatly dressed, turned around in their chair and speaking to the Yeplak at their right-hand shoulder.

  It wasn’t Matt.

  Beside her, Keith whispered; “ _Shiro_?” Allura gasped. Hunk sniffled. Lance was unusually still.

  Shiro turned around sharply, and everyone got to see such a big smile they hadn’t seen since before he left for Kerberos. “Hey.”

  Rage Pidge had never felt before in her life bubbled up into her throat. Lance backed out of her way quickly as she shoved past Allura and strode over. Everyone recoiled in fear.

  “ _You_ ,” she hissed, grabbing Shiro by the collar of his shirt. Several aliens around Shiro made a move to protect him, but he held up a hand in a clear sign to stop. “You _promised_ you would find them!”

  “And he did.”

  Pidge’s anger melted away like snow under the sun. She whirled around, then sank to the floor in a heap of relief. Tears leaked out from under Pidge’s eyelids as she blinked once, twice, hoping that what she saw was real.

  Pidge hadn’t been able to cry since they went missing, despite being hurt countless times.

  Matt, looking worn and tired and _old_ , hair tied back into a ponytail that Pidge would have mocked him for like crazy when they were younger. Her dad, his hair stark white, leaning heavily on a cane and he limped alongside his son.

  “You’re alive,” she choked out.

  Memories flooded over her brain as her father, her _father_ , smiled. “It takes a lot more than an intergalactic space war to kill us Holts.”

  With shaky legs, Pidge held onto the table and stood up. “I missed you,” she said.

 They didn’t say anything back, both of them pulling Pidge into a hug she hadn’t had since she was _fifteen_ , a time that seemed like centuries ago. It was warm, safe, and it was her _family_ , her brother and her father - both of them alive, alive alive _alive alive_.

  Her father pulled back first, then Matt.

   “Shiro told us about everything you’ve done. I’m so proud of you, Katie,” her dad said, eyes crinkling at the corners. Pidge suppressed another sob.

  Instead, she took off her misted-up glasses and handed them to Matt.

  “I’m sorry I broke my promise.”

  Matt solemnly took them from her, then put them on. He blinked a couple of times, then looked at Pidge with a serious expression. “Your eyesight is worse than mine now, you tiny dork.”

  Pidge grinned through the tears. In the corner of her eye, she saw the rest of her family, the paladins of Voltron, wipe some away as well. “Hand them back then, nerd.”

  “You’re the nerd, dork.”

 

  So five-year old Pidge’s wishes never came true, and she never became her brother Matt. Instead, she became the green paladin of Voltron, a defender of the universe, piloted a giant robot lion in space, got to hack evil purple alien tech on a regular basis, live in a huge castle ship, keep Matt’s glasses _forever_ , and see her family re-united.  

   Also, if Pidge  _had_ become her brother, that would’ve been weird. She’s seen weird, she knows weird, she lives it every day.

   So trust her - weird.

 


End file.
